Botswana, Southern Africa, July 8, 2012: When The Angels Whispers Answers
Sunday, July 8, 2012
When The Angels Whisper Answers
july 2012
My life is either "a daring adventure or nothing at all". But that's no one's fault, as much as my mind and body constantly yearn to live in my comfort zone (at least for a year), my soul never allows me to. Something within me always wants to grow and is willing to pay for the price of that growth experience. And of course, when I make that move, I never fail to complain and regret; only to be thankful for it once again, when it is all over.
When I ask questions, I hear my answers; at times, in a song I overhear, a quote I accidentally stumble upon or through a person that I meet.
Case # 1. I came for a less demanding job, for some sun, to learn and to live my African dream. However, my future here in Botswana started looking bleak to me some months back, in terms of my capacity to support my family financially, as well as the promise to fly in my role in the Learning Resources. The role, I feel, will take off full blown in 2-3 years time, with the level of resistance to change the environment has; as well as the school's challenging recent past connected to my role prior to my coming. However, I do not have that much time, considering our current basic needs. Though I've already made a decision months back, this affirms it.
“If you don’t change the direction you are going, then you’re likely to end up where you’re heading…”
― John C. Maxwell
Case # 2. I have friends who are happy for me and tells me that I am living my life to my heart's delight and there are those who think I am not settling down nor growing roots. There are, also those, who are inspired with the possibilities I present and enables others to dream, and there are those whom at times, has ended up feeling like my path has made their path feel small. Though I disagree and neither do I think of them as the lowest common denominator, but simply as those who chose differently than I did; somewhere stuck behind the recesses of my mind - is a worm of guilt.
"We are not responsible for dimming our light so others can feel better about themselves. If we all sank to the level of the lowest common denominator, there would be none to inspire and amaze us; no one to give us vision of what the human race can achieve or fill us with hope of transcending our limited self."
- The Seer's Wisdom
When speaking to the consul yesterday as we claimed our new residence cards, he asked why we were leaving the country. As usual, I tell the truth, and part of that is - even though I love the sun and I came for it, the finances is not holding it up for us here. He replied SO casually and WITHOUT any trace of surprise:
"Oh I see, so you can spend a year here, get some sun, then move back there, earn some, then go to another place and enjoy another year of sun etc. Yes, it makes sense."
Oh my gosh, I thought, he doesn't think we are crazy! He is in fact doing the same thing, buying a skiing lot in a resort and moving back and forth Botswana to catch the best weather of the year with his family. Well, you might have picked up by now, that though I stubbornly follow my heart most of the time, there is this fishbone stuck in my throat somewhere that makes it difficult for me to swallow being different.
Then, I have this new colleague whom I hit off very well with. He said:
"You know what Mataji, (speaking of an altogether different issue that's work related & later compared it to my life) we are never alone, and sometimes we think our case is unique, it's not. We just haven't explored enough yet to meet people like us. For all you know, there certainly is a family just like yours, even with an intercultural marriage, have kids, who travels the world year after year. It's just a matter of meeting them."
Oh, wasn't I consoled by that! It's true. It started with our Principal applicant who lives with her boyfriend in her 50's and has worked in 8 different countries across ALL continents. I'm pretty sure she has kids too, if I just asked. After all, I have only lived in 5 countries, including the one we are going to next.
On some deep level, I move from one place to another to complete myself. I feel that every place and people across the land and sea sharpen me, help me become whole, teach me a valuable lesson and elevate me to the person I want to continue becoming - a free and unbreakable spirit who loves all and judges none.
India has taught me the secrets of the Grassy Hills, the Jasmine flowers, the Eucalyptus Trees and the Rainforest.
Norway has taught me the lessons of the Frozen lakes, Falling leaves, Endless Nights and Countless Days.
and ..
Africa has taught me the power of the Desert and the Space in between Bushes.
There are powerful lessons beyond measure from these places and the people that inhabit and visit these lands and waters. It is like learning the ways of the elements, each of these places offer a unique piece to the grand puzzle.
Though my outward journey seems like a restless wild adventure, deep inside I always know, that's it's nothing but a simple journey within. A going home to my spirit, a healing of the heart and an expansion of the mind.
It is my hope that the person I am contsantly becoming, benefits others - simply because it has made me a more joyful and loving person.
"And only God knows what Joy and Love can do to this cosmic universe." - and this is my angel whisper for the day.
My life is either "a daring adventure or nothing at all". But that's no one's fault, as much as my mind and body constantly yearn to live in my comfort zone (at least for a year), my soul never allows me to. Something within me always wants to grow and is willing to pay for the price of that growth experience. And of course, when I make that move, I never fail to complain and regret; only to be thankful for it once again, when it is all over.
When I ask questions, I hear my answers; at times, in a song I overhear, a quote I accidentally stumble upon or through a person that I meet.
Case # 1. I came for a less demanding job, for some sun, to learn and to live my African dream. However, my future here in Botswana started looking bleak to me some months back, in terms of my capacity to support my family financially, as well as the promise to fly in my role in the Learning Resources. The role, I feel, will take off full blown in 2-3 years time, with the level of resistance to change the environment has; as well as the school's challenging recent past connected to my role prior to my coming. However, I do not have that much time, considering our current basic needs. Though I've already made a decision months back, this affirms it.
“If you don’t change the direction you are going, then you’re likely to end up where you’re heading…”
― John C. Maxwell
Case # 2. I have friends who are happy for me and tells me that I am living my life to my heart's delight and there are those who think I am not settling down nor growing roots. There are, also those, who are inspired with the possibilities I present and enables others to dream, and there are those whom at times, has ended up feeling like my path has made their path feel small. Though I disagree and neither do I think of them as the lowest common denominator, but simply as those who chose differently than I did; somewhere stuck behind the recesses of my mind - is a worm of guilt.
"We are not responsible for dimming our light so others can feel better about themselves. If we all sank to the level of the lowest common denominator, there would be none to inspire and amaze us; no one to give us vision of what the human race can achieve or fill us with hope of transcending our limited self."
- The Seer's Wisdom
When speaking to the consul yesterday as we claimed our new residence cards, he asked why we were leaving the country. As usual, I tell the truth, and part of that is - even though I love the sun and I came for it, the finances is not holding it up for us here. He replied SO casually and WITHOUT any trace of surprise:
"Oh I see, so you can spend a year here, get some sun, then move back there, earn some, then go to another place and enjoy another year of sun etc. Yes, it makes sense."
Oh my gosh, I thought, he doesn't think we are crazy! He is in fact doing the same thing, buying a skiing lot in a resort and moving back and forth Botswana to catch the best weather of the year with his family. Well, you might have picked up by now, that though I stubbornly follow my heart most of the time, there is this fishbone stuck in my throat somewhere that makes it difficult for me to swallow being different.
Then, I have this new colleague whom I hit off very well with. He said:
"You know what Mataji, (speaking of an altogether different issue that's work related & later compared it to my life) we are never alone, and sometimes we think our case is unique, it's not. We just haven't explored enough yet to meet people like us. For all you know, there certainly is a family just like yours, even with an intercultural marriage, have kids, who travels the world year after year. It's just a matter of meeting them."
Oh, wasn't I consoled by that! It's true. It started with our Principal applicant who lives with her boyfriend in her 50's and has worked in 8 different countries across ALL continents. I'm pretty sure she has kids too, if I just asked. After all, I have only lived in 5 countries, including the one we are going to next.
On some deep level, I move from one place to another to complete myself. I feel that every place and people across the land and sea sharpen me, help me become whole, teach me a valuable lesson and elevate me to the person I want to continue becoming - a free and unbreakable spirit who loves all and judges none.
India has taught me the secrets of the Grassy Hills, the Jasmine flowers, the Eucalyptus Trees and the Rainforest.
Norway has taught me the lessons of the Frozen lakes, Falling leaves, Endless Nights and Countless Days.
and ..
Africa has taught me the power of the Desert and the Space in between Bushes.
There are powerful lessons beyond measure from these places and the people that inhabit and visit these lands and waters. It is like learning the ways of the elements, each of these places offer a unique piece to the grand puzzle.
Though my outward journey seems like a restless wild adventure, deep inside I always know, that's it's nothing but a simple journey within. A going home to my spirit, a healing of the heart and an expansion of the mind.
It is my hope that the person I am contsantly becoming, benefits others - simply because it has made me a more joyful and loving person.
"And only God knows what Joy and Love can do to this cosmic universe." - and this is my angel whisper for the day.
