Kodaikanal, Southern India: Follow The Leader
Follow The Leader
I have a teacher for a father. I have a leader for a teacher. What would anyone expect of him to do to his children?
Lead and Teach.
When I was younger, I once came to him to complain about his role as a father. Disappointed that he did not meet my stereotype, I told him “ Tay, you are not acting like a father, you are acting like a mentor! And this is so irritating, I am your daughter and not your student!”. Instead of protesting or defending himself, his eyes lit up just like he had an “aha” moment and he smiled, and that smile broadened as if he just heard something so exciting. Perplexed, confused and surprised, I waited for his answer.
“EXACTLY! “He exclaimed with a sense of pride in his voice. “That’s who I am” he continued, as if he just found someone who finally understood him! It took me years to find peace with this, until his lessons saved my life several times.
Here are my lessons from my leader, my teacher and my father.
ON FINANCES
1. Do not keep a credit card.
2. Do not spend more than you can afford.
3. Save for vacation, illness and shopping for your passion, and leave the rest for basic needs.
4. Do not take loans.
5. Do not pawn your belongings.
6. Pay only in cash.
7. Do not carry too much cash when you go out, you might be tempted to spend them all.
8. Do not loan money to others, but give them the money you can afford to shed without them ever having to pay for it.
9. Control. Control. Control.
10. Give but also receive gratefully when people want to give you money.
ON MARITAL RELATIONSHIP
1. Do not expect perfection from your partner.
2. Honor his uniqueness.
3. Stop criticizing.
4. Leave them alone when they need to be alone.
5. Appreciate your partner for his unique contributions even if they do not contribute in the way you want them to.
6. Patience and acceptance.
7. Be free to be who you are and do what you want to do and allow others to be and do the same
8. Encourage and inspire each other
9. Tap on and develop each other’s talents
10. Work together, relax and enjoy together
ON PARENTING
1. Treat your children with respect
2. Tap and develop their talents and develop their creativity
3. Inspire and motivate
4. Never spank or verbally insult your children
5. Make spirituality your legacy
6. Do fun things together and talk about your problems as a family.
7. Communicate openly to your children like an equal
8. Make your children a part of the decision making process in the family
9. Expose them to music, arts, philosophy, science etc. so they can better decide what they want to pursue in the future.
10. Talk to your children: about their dreams, their plans, their passions, the family problems, share your thoughts, your passions and feelings with them that they may do the same.
SPIRITUALITY
1. When you feel the thirst of the soul, satisfy it.
2. Be yourself
3. You are your own master
4. Be quiet
5. Read
6. Meditate
7. Serve
8. Exercise
9. Learn from others, but follow your own wisdom
10. Make this your number one goal in life
ON CAREER
1. Identify your passion
2. Follow your passion
3. Apprenticeship is a powerful learning tool
4. Keep yourself inspired at all times
5. Your career should serve others
6. Never stop learning, Keep on growing
7. Be creative, be VERY CREATIVE.
8. Prepare yourself for your best yet by being ready for it
9. You got to be excited about job
10. Be the best in your field
Lastly, my father always says, I FOLLOW NO ONE.
p.s. Some of these lessons were not directly said by my father, but shown to us by example.
I have a teacher for a father. I have a leader for a teacher. What would anyone expect of him to do to his children?
Lead and Teach.
When I was younger, I once came to him to complain about his role as a father. Disappointed that he did not meet my stereotype, I told him “ Tay, you are not acting like a father, you are acting like a mentor! And this is so irritating, I am your daughter and not your student!”. Instead of protesting or defending himself, his eyes lit up just like he had an “aha” moment and he smiled, and that smile broadened as if he just heard something so exciting. Perplexed, confused and surprised, I waited for his answer.
“EXACTLY! “He exclaimed with a sense of pride in his voice. “That’s who I am” he continued, as if he just found someone who finally understood him! It took me years to find peace with this, until his lessons saved my life several times.
Here are my lessons from my leader, my teacher and my father.
ON FINANCES
1. Do not keep a credit card.
2. Do not spend more than you can afford.
3. Save for vacation, illness and shopping for your passion, and leave the rest for basic needs.
4. Do not take loans.
5. Do not pawn your belongings.
6. Pay only in cash.
7. Do not carry too much cash when you go out, you might be tempted to spend them all.
8. Do not loan money to others, but give them the money you can afford to shed without them ever having to pay for it.
9. Control. Control. Control.
10. Give but also receive gratefully when people want to give you money.
ON MARITAL RELATIONSHIP
1. Do not expect perfection from your partner.
2. Honor his uniqueness.
3. Stop criticizing.
4. Leave them alone when they need to be alone.
5. Appreciate your partner for his unique contributions even if they do not contribute in the way you want them to.
6. Patience and acceptance.
7. Be free to be who you are and do what you want to do and allow others to be and do the same
8. Encourage and inspire each other
9. Tap on and develop each other’s talents
10. Work together, relax and enjoy together
ON PARENTING
1. Treat your children with respect
2. Tap and develop their talents and develop their creativity
3. Inspire and motivate
4. Never spank or verbally insult your children
5. Make spirituality your legacy
6. Do fun things together and talk about your problems as a family.
7. Communicate openly to your children like an equal
8. Make your children a part of the decision making process in the family
9. Expose them to music, arts, philosophy, science etc. so they can better decide what they want to pursue in the future.
10. Talk to your children: about their dreams, their plans, their passions, the family problems, share your thoughts, your passions and feelings with them that they may do the same.
SPIRITUALITY
1. When you feel the thirst of the soul, satisfy it.
2. Be yourself
3. You are your own master
4. Be quiet
5. Read
6. Meditate
7. Serve
8. Exercise
9. Learn from others, but follow your own wisdom
10. Make this your number one goal in life
ON CAREER
1. Identify your passion
2. Follow your passion
3. Apprenticeship is a powerful learning tool
4. Keep yourself inspired at all times
5. Your career should serve others
6. Never stop learning, Keep on growing
7. Be creative, be VERY CREATIVE.
8. Prepare yourself for your best yet by being ready for it
9. You got to be excited about job
10. Be the best in your field
Lastly, my father always says, I FOLLOW NO ONE.
p.s. Some of these lessons were not directly said by my father, but shown to us by example.
