Life Stucks!

"For every habit we have, for every experience we go through over and over, for every pattern we repeat, there is a need within us for it" -Louise Hay

Pray, that cycles where roads meet where one has started, ends. Accelerating learning at the speed of light is overwhelmingly taxing, exhausting, mind blowing, scary, challenging - and yet, possible.

It is safe to be within the borders of our comfort zone. We can stay in it as long as we want. For in the universe, time is meaningless.

I often resented my boss who kept on stretching me and challenging me to stretch myself further than what he had already done to me in my career. I thought that it was unfair to disturb a sleeping rabbit in her hole and that it is inhuman not to respect choices of even superficial security. But as I roll down the hill and come back up the mountain again bruised with mud all over, I smile along the way at the view, at my increased courage, at where I am at.

Every day was different. I was perhaps, overburning my adrenaline supply. But my back straightens even further by the day. I felt like retiring at 33. And by the time I proclaim my exhaustion and need for rest, something bigger awaits.

And here is what ultimately happened, I found peace with it. The mountain trek felt like my usual beaten path and the rolling rocks falling my way felt like the usual butterflies fluttering its wings around me in the morning on my way to work.

I started seeing life as one blind leap off the cliff after another. I still yearn for a simple life in the fields where I can wake up predictably with the sun every morning. But even with that, I feel I will create challenges of aliveness, and end up romanticizing the sun rays that would hit my face yet cooled by the breeze to remind me of the eternal balance of life.

Perhaps, safety does not exist. Perhaps, risk is a state of mind. Perhaps, an adventure is what life has always been - however we live it.

It's 1:35 a.m. What do I do? I write.