The Dignity of Death

I never knew death could be so powerful when you witness it “first” hand. I gasped with my grandmother’s drowning breath. I prayed out load while gently resting my lips close to my grandmother’s left ear. ” Release O Lord this soul from this body!” I was mortified with what I was reading in the Catholic scripture for the dying. I was struggling between hanging on to her and releasing her to peace and painlessness. Sobbing, I whispered.. “you can go now Lola, it’s alright, we will all be alright”. I did not know how I could go on, it’s been hours of gasping and struggling for breath, it was so painful to see. But I kept my prayers stronger as I closed my eyes reciting the Hail Mary’s and the Our Fathers to shut away the silent sobbing and shaking of other family members around my grandmother’s bed. The prayers seemed to seep into my soul. I felt strengthened, more centered, as if I was holding my heart with my two palms and I could see it beating. . I was protecting it from being crushed so that I can give my lola the death she wished for, surrounded with constant love and prayers. I was stroking her hair asking her to forgive her body for being weak and tired. I held her hands, stroked her heart gently, “forgive, forgive and be patient with your heart” I told her. ” it won’t be long.. it won’t be long”….. After a while, the second batch of relatives came, I felt an inner peace, I kissed my grandmother in the forehead and whispered in my heart..”Goodbye Lola”.

After a while we were called outside and told that the numbers have drastically dropped. The line was flat. Her mouth was open, her skin pale yellow..I could feel enveloped by her love.. “Hail Mary..pray for us sinners now until the day of our death.. Amen.”

Posted by Mataji at 12:16 AM